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Thursday, 11 August 2005
.Picking apart my spine.
Mood:
 not sure
Now Playing: "Heavens a lie" Lacuna Coil
eye'm sorry, eye'm ugly, all that i am and i can never live up. eye'm failing, eye'm angry, afraid of the ways they pretend to be us. its fuct up, eye'm different, wurdz remain my only escape. art saves all of me, evolving, and now you're walking away!!! eye'm so afraid, and now you're walking away. eye'm so ashamed, and now you're walking away!!
my mistake, was trusting you, blood pigs, with creating my fate, with poetry, and suffering, i cannibalized every ounce of my pain. eye'm still afraid, everyday. these greedy worms - they devour my plagues. eye'm not your slave, eye'm conquering, you see me rise & now you're walking away!!! eye'm not ashamed! and now you're walking away! eye'm not afraid! and now you're walking away!!
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Just finished watching Hitch. -lol-
Also rented The Pacifier and The Stepford wives(mothers pick.)
I'm fixing to rip my wisdom teef out of my goddamn head.
It feels like I beat my head with a brick a thousand times.
My knee keeps locking up. Everytime I bend it I can feel my bones rubbing up against each other. The fluid keeps building up, making my knee swell up, even though I just had it drained.
I'm falling the fuck apart.
I'm not sure when my surgery is. Sometime at the end of August... i think?
Not looking foward to it.
I was supposed to go to the dentist this morning but I overslept since I didn't go to sleep till 8:30 this morning.
The lortabs and percocets were supposed to make me pass out but it did the exact opposite. ugh.
She's wonderful to me.
I wish she could say the same about me.
I'm just not ready. I wish I had control over that but i dont.
.sorry sweetie.
.Your lips are like magnets.
The future is all a blur right now.
I'm not sure if Im staying here until Aug. 25, October or if this is something permenant.
I have less than 2 weeks to decide. fuckfuckfuckfuck.
Someone give me a reason....
Movies with mother.. fun fun...
*choke*
Posted by deludedsmile
at 7:53 PM
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